Behold the Alpha tank. So named because of the yarn, Online Alpha. There are alot of reasons this item almost never came about. I bought the yarn while doped up from surgery - this is obvious - how can you tell? It's Pink. Seriously, pink. Frick.
Overlooking the pinkness (something that I have none of in my wardrobe because I loathe it), it is a lovely set of hues - in a cotton. Had I learned to knit on cotton I would now be a devout matchstick constructor, rug hooker, tiddlywink champ, anything but a knitter. I remembered why I don't own much cotton yarn shortly after I cast on with it in July. It splits, which since it's a ten ply, means it splits alot; doesn't matter how dull the needle/how sharp the needle/what size the crochet hook.
Also on the negative side (for the yarn) it's expensive, but poorly dyed. It is apparently spray dyed, because the center of the yarn is white, making it easy to find every split stitch. Fortunately it was on sale. Perhaps that helps explain why pink yarn seemed like a good idea
Then there was the pattern. I started with Wendy Bernards angelic chorus essential tank, but the pinks pooled. Dear Readers of this blog know how I feel about pooling. Pools are for aerobics, not for on my body. So I converted it to in the round...no pooling. Finished the entire project -even wove in ends.
Tried it on - the pattern is written for the willowy and flat chested. On a more Reubenesqe woman - practically soft core porn - at the very least "mutton dressed as lamb". No problem, I still have yarn. I'll just add some sleeves, and bring up the neckline.
Great, now it's slutty meets dirndl. Rip Rip Rip. Frick Frick Frick. TAO is in the recliner, carefully not looking or commenting.
Back to the books...Yarn Girls to the rescue. Beyond the Basics - Tank You Very Much; demure, still a summer top, right gauge. Small modifications including garter stitch at the bottom, waistline shaping, and superhero boob mask.
Now I need to log off and go wear this before it snows.
4 comments:
hilarious post------ and I'm not laughing AT YOU but with you. Really.
The top is not awful dear---- but lordy it IS pink.
That is one funny post. The tank is cute on you. I know you don't like pink. And it is DEFINITELY pink. Pink. Yeah. But the top fits you well. Maybe you could overdye it.
L' Shana Tovah by the way. The new year is fast approaching
LOL! I know Chelle is the anti-pink, but I L-O-V-E me some pink, and I'm loving that tank!
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