If you ask people to describe me, strong and it's variations will be heard alot. (some of those variations include the less attractive side of strength, like goatheaded.)
And there is alot of truth to that. I've gotten through much of life by just continuing to get up everyday. I'm still working on rounding myself out with some kindness and compassion.
I would have liked to have a nice breakdown with the death of my children-didn't. Spent 6 weeks eating only yogurt (which I Loathe with a Passion) because we were shorthanded at work so I had to delay major abdominal surgery. Only missed 3 days of work because of the surgery.
Then there's the petty stuff: working 22 days straight with call because of coworker hissy fits, driving cross country to meet weird deadlines, petty stuff.
So there's the Vacation. You know, the vacation TAO and I have planned, pored over books, gotten recommendations, etc. For years. And every year something comes up...usually work. We were supposed to go in March. Work got in the way. So we rescheduled for October and made a pact, "we're going, even if we get fired".
So I'm the last to leave work today. I go out to the waiting room to turn off the tv, and see a map of WI, with a dot just about where I live. Okay. Lets turn this up. The blah blah levee has collapsed. Evacuation of this neighborhood continues
Cue full frontal view of MY HOUSE from a helicopter.
Call TAO- he's safe, he's at work, unaware we've made the news. Call the neighbors, yes they are all safe, but no one knows anything because they were evacuated.
I can't rush home because I have call for the next 11 days - because of hissy fit people- Again.
The irony is our insurance company cancelled our flood insurance 3 weeks ago because FEMA redrew the flood maps. We got our notice. We called our Agent because TAO is on the zoning board, and they expanded the flood map, not reduced it. We'd like our insurance please. Never heard from them.
Really?!? Is this vacation supposed to be one of those things where TAO & I die horrifically and G-d is trying to put it off?
I know it's just stuff. I know I should be grateful no one is injured or dead.
I also know that strength will only carry you so far, and I'm getting tired. Really tired.