So I was reading a "heated discussion" over on Ravelry and it gave me some things to think about. All along Ravelry has been saying it would be open to the public. Personally I was picturing something along the lines of the Yahoo Groups, you would need an account to be a part of it vs say, Knitters Review where you can read but not post without an account. So the storm was created by the clarification that "open" means "Open to the Public, all and sundry". Wow. For a while people forgot to use their inside voices. It brought up several interesting points about public and private selves.
Several people will be changing their id's because they are too close to "real". I could do this, there aren't many with my name out there, but I am enough of a wallflower that I don't see this as an issue. I guard truly private information and keep myself to myself. So that stays.
The bigger issue is Ravelry has several very private boards where people have formed support groups, have come out, have said all manner of things they do not want people to hear.
This is were the whole thing becomes sticky. On the one hand, it's nice to think that we could stagger into the LYS KnitNight and bash our boss. However, you run the risk that the boss' brother's cousin's niece will be there...hear it...run into the evil empress at Dairy Q and repeat it. You on some level know that. I think that is why TAO bears the brunt of so much of my frustration. He isn't likely to meet the boss somewhere and say "Oh, you're the one with the intelligence of a domesticated turkey."
So the common sense answer is "Don't post what you wouldn't want to see on a billboard on the way to work."
At the same time I empathise with the people who have formed close knit groups, who enjoy the easy camaraderie, who unburden themselves to a friendly face they may never see. In today's society most of us work so much and are so fractured from our families that friendships can become quite dear. Even online I run my usual modus operandi, I listen to alot of casual friends and only really talk to a very very few. Having grown up in a "don't tell" environment and currently working in a travelling position where every 3 months you essentially have to polish up for a new job I can see how people become isolated. Even though I personally don't interact in these groups I don't want them to lose that. It's also a shame that we still live in a world that people have to worry about backlash from their sexual/religious/political choices. After all I hate pink, that doesn't mean I think stores shouldn't sell pink stuff to people who like pink.
At it's core, Ravelry is a fibre arts site. Private groups may have to wander off and form their own email lists. But that doesn't mean you can't meet great people at the virtual LYS.
In the meantime, since that candle is definitely for her I am trying to minimize the impact of the forces of chaos in my life by using the force. This includes casting on a spur of the moment -my-head-is-going-to-explode- project. Hope I have enough yarn since the gray is a remnant from a sweater I made TAO 5 years ago. Funny thing...I was really sick of that sweater by the time it was done, but he wore the now ratty thing the other day, and I found myself admiring the stitch patterning and thinking - A deep Navy in a nicer yarn - R-i-ght that'll help.
It's a cable trimmed wrap cardigan, hitting just below the hips. Yes, I knit the whole thing. The Azaleas are in the picture because they are far more interesting than the sweater. I was laying it out today for seaming and suddenly realised that if I wanted a plain vanilla sweater I could have purchased one at TJM-xx for less than the cost of the yarn. Heck, if I were going to wear something this boring I would wear my sherpa lined zip sweatshirt with pockets and be snuggly. 
In order to gain perspective I did indeed take a break from packing to feed the gargantuan amount of stitches from the current row of the Gathering of Lace Feather and Fan Shawl onto a lifeline. It was very helpful to see it spread out and converted it from an amorphous jellyfish into something lacey and lovely. At the same time it’s disheartening to realize that one row currently is equal to 14 rows on a sock. And that each continuing row will only get larger. Sigh.
While I was at it I pulled the Malabrigo vogue cardigan out of its project bag to see where I really stand. I think this one will stay in Wisconsin while I go to the Pacific Northwest.
I have been fiddling around with a different new technique for 2 at once socks, but find that to be even more annoying than just having to keep good notes for a second sock. The switching back and forth converts it into a finicky little chore instead of a soothing and calming rosary. I like learning new techniques though.
