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"That latitude in middle life of alternate doldrums and uncertain winds. When one realises that hopes deferred are no longer realizable. That ports not visited will now never be seen. That this journey and others before it may have been a mistake, that one no longer even has confidence in charts and compass." P.D. James

There have been times recently when I've felt that way. Sort of tossed about, not by events and situations but by winds inside myself.

And yet, there are also times when I can clearly see the progress that divides me from my prior self.

I finally went to the originally planned Zumba class with 2 20 year old co-workers.
Glad I didn't go to this instructor first...I wouldn't have returned. It was a very vigorous/high impact class. Much more hopping/boxing-less dancing.

I was very self-conscious. My bladder does not like the 25lbs of pressure forced down by my internal organs that occurs during Hopping/jumping rope/jane fonda. Even empty it always manages to save some for later.

On the other hand, I was perfectly comfortable assessing the situation...seeing the pitfall...and opting for my own low impact version. This worked well in two ways. A) I was able to concentrate on the footwork and not going the wrong direction because I wasn't trying to leap as a gazelle. B) I felt good about myself and the fact that I would do the "odd" thing, taking care of myself in the process. When I was 20, I would have killed myself to fit in. Now I look at that situation and do the best for Me...and the best chip in the cookie? My knees don't hurt today, unlike my co-workers.


Post Script:
Yummy pudding calories: